Ten years ago, anal sex was a lot more taboo than it is today. Not very many people engaged in it, or at least admitted to it. Let’s just say it was not commonly talked about amongst friends – that’s for sure. And while it is now becoming more common and more widely accepted, it is still often kept a secret between couples. Hence, if you’re looking to try your first anal experience, it may be awkward to start asking around within your group of friends, “Hey, have you ever had anal sex?” Especially for women.
If you’ve fantasized about doing it, or have been talking about trying it with your partner, my advice is: Go for it! But first, there are some things you should know before you begin.
Use a condom. If you are having any type of sex with a person who you do not know their medical history, you should always use a condom. But especially with anal intercourse. The tissue around the anus is really soft and is more prone to tiny tears. While you may not even notice the tears, they are there – and they make it easier for you to contract HIV or other viruses.
Use lots of lubricant. Seriously. Use a lot. When it comes to back door entry, there is no such thing as too much lubricant – especially for a beginner. The anus does not make its own lubricant, so it’s important to use either a water or silicone-based lubricant. Remember that oil-based lubricants can damage the condom. Silicone lubricants stay wetter longer, and may be a good idea since you definitely don’t want to dry up.
Start small. For a beginner, inserting a penis into the anus straight away could be uncomfortable – especially if your partner is well endowed. Get used to the idea by using one or two fingers first, and then use a toy. Get one that has a tapered head and a wide base so it is easier to insert, and can also get you ready for the size of your partner’s member.
Go slow. When you are ready to take your partner’s penis, make sure your partner goes slow. Real anal entry is not often like you see in a porn movie. You have to insert very slowly, and let your partner know whether to stop or go further. Often it works best when he inserts it a little bit at a time so you can get comfortable with the fuller feeling deep inside of you.
Relax. Your anus has two sphincter muscles, the inner and outer. You have no control over the inner and it will automatically tighten (which is what makes it feel so good for your partner) but you do have control over the outer muscle. Make sure the muscle is completely relaxed to ensure a painless entry. If you are too tight during entry, it will hurt.