For some people, talking to the opposite sex comes as naturally as knowing when you’re feeling hungry. For many others, however, flirting can be a nerve-racking ordeal, ending up in stuttered words or stupid comments uttered, getting you to the exact opposite place of where you’d like to be – with the person of your affection walking away from you without even a second glance. To start flirting like a pro, follow these tips:
1. Be confident
You may not actually feel confident, but in this case you need to fake it ‘til you make it. Hold your body straight, shoulders back, and do your very best to talk without stuttering or using too much ‘umm’ or ‘aah’. If you look your best, you’ll feel your best, so hold yourself high and wear your ‘feel-good-clothes’ as often as possible (you never know when you’ll meet someone of interest).
2. Find a reason to talk
If you know them from a class, work or even from a friend’s party – think of a reason to talk to them. Ask them if you know when the project is due, or if they’ve seen so-and-so lately. If you don’t know them, ask them about, or make a comment about something in your surroundings. If you’re brave enough, let them know how beautiful they looked, and you just had to say hello.
3. Eye contact
Once you’ve made your first line, be sure to maintain eye contact with them while you’re talking. Don’t be creepy and stare at them, but your eyes can give a lot away – in many cases, eyes are the tell-tale sign that someone is interested.
4. Body language
Don’t slouch, don’t look away, don’t tap your fingers on the counter or hide your mouth behind a drink or cup. Face them completely and lean into them slightly if it’s appropriate. (i.e., if they’re behind a desk, you can lean into or rest slightly on the desk to increase proximity) If the conversation is moving well, a gentle touch on the arm or shoulder when something is funny, is a huge signal – but keep the touching light, and infrequent.
5. Keep it light
Once you’re talking to them, keep the conversation light. It’s amazing how fast some people can turn a light and cheerful conversation into a dark one. Talk about how funny your cat Mimmy is, but don’t talk about how Mimmy’s brother just died of cat cancer.
6. Know when it’s over
If awkward pauses keep creeping up while you’re trying to think of something to say, it’s time to wrap it up. Offer your phone number or email address and let them know you’d love it if they’d be in touch. It’s better to leave your contact instead of ask for theirs to leave the ball in their court. If they were interested in you, they’ll make contact.