Is it possible to have a platonic friendship while in a relationship? I’m sure some people would agree to disagree with me, but in all honesty I don’t think that there is any room for platonic friendships when you’re in a committed relationship.
You can say they are “just friends” all you want, but you know (and your partner sure knows) that at one time or another you and your “friend” have either slept together or one of you has had feelings for the other. When you’re in a relationship you just don’t put yourself in a situation where something could happen or jealous feelings could ensue. Maybe your friend will be hurt and deserted if you tell them you can’t talk to them anymore (you can almost guarantee it), but if you are in it for the long hall in your current relationship then that should be more important.
Hang out with your girlfriends all you want, throw another guy into the mix… unless he’s gay (we all know having a gay male friend is the same, if not better, than a girlfriend) your asking for trouble. I wouldn’t want some girl calling my man or meeting him for drinks alone. Would you? Or would you want your girlfriend getting text messages every day from some guy that she was friends with before she met you (or after she met you for that matter)?
Most of us can admit that at some point in time we have had at least one so called platonic friend. I can also venture to say that of those friends most of us have slept with them or it became very difficult to be friends because either you or they began to have feelings of wanting it to go further. This becomes difficult because one or both of you is going to date someone eventually. It’s not like you are friends for a couple years and both of you start dating some one and you say to each other, “OMG! We simply must go on a double date!” Doesn’t quite work that way.
Believe me when I say it gets weird and uncomfortable because your friend (or yourself) is hurting because they can’t have you but they continue to settle for your friendship. Although they may not tell you this to your face, it will be abundantly clear because whether they know they’re doing it or not the bell starts ringing and the proverbial boxing gloves come out whenever you bring up their “competition” and the person that you are hopefully starting a relationship with begins to hear that bell and asks you to end the friendship.
If you really want to make it work with them, you end the friendship. With any luck (but probably not) you can end it on a good note. But be prepared the “platonic” friend is going to make you feel like you’re a terrible human being and a terrible “friend.” As we grow and we mature so do our relationships with people. We can only hope these people grow and mature too. We fall in love and want to start our lives with some one. We can’t help it if our “friends” don’t understand. I am sure once they are in your shoes, they will.
Steve Harvey: “Men and women cant be friends”
