So you think you’re ready to dive back into the great sea of sharks and start dating after divorce? The good news is that relationships have a better chance of working the second time around. I know what you’re thinking, “I came here for ‘dating’ advice and this girl is talking about a (insert expletive) ‘relationship’!” Don’t let me scare you off so soon…
I know first hand how hard dating after divorce is. It’s overwhelming to just jump back into the dating world after the relationship with who you thought was your life long partner ends. In all honesty, it should be easier than it was before. Think about it; we have seen it, lived it, done it, and heard it; for the most part anyway. But, after not dating for a while due to the old ball and chain, we could all use some simple tips when jumping into the game again:
First and foremost, know that there are no magic numbers in months or years that one has to wait after a divorce to start dating. We are all different and have different needs. Take your time, you’ll know when your ready. Just enjoy being “you” for a while and understand it’s o.k. to be alone. Hell, once you get used to that, you might not want to let it go!
Don’t jump on the first offer that comes your way. After a divorce, especially a really bad one, it can make you feel very inadequate. Your self esteem has been trampled on and you may not feel like your young vibrant self. Someone asks you out and you think, “Yes! I am alive and I’ve still got it!” Slow down Sparky… Not that you shouldn’t feel good about it, just take a deep breath and evaluate whether this person is someone you really want to go out with.
Don’t date anyone without kids if you have them yourself and don’t date any one with kids if you don’t have them (of course this rule may change if the kids are grown). Children are a big part of anyone’s life and if its date night with the kids at Chucky Cheese, are you (or your date) really going to be into this if one of you doesn’t have a child to entertain? When children are involved you enter a whole new dimension of dating. I’ve been on both sides of this fence and trust me it never works.
The most important thing is to just be your self; this rule hasn’t changed and it never will. Dating after divorce may seem overwhelming but (at the risk of sounding tremendously cliché) it’s like riding a bike; so you’ve fallen off and the cement has somewhat tattered you’re ego but you get up, dust your self off, and try again!