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What is the artificial vagina monologue?

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What is the artificial vagina monologueThere really is no such thing as the artificial vagina monologue. There was some documentary made by feminists a few years ago with a similar name. It was a bunch of birds who sat around complaining about all sorts of things. It is the same sort of stuff you have to deal with when you are in a relationship or when you have women around you all of the time. It is absolutely horrifying to deal with, and if you aren’t looking forward to it then I recommend you give up your quest to get laid by a real woman.

When you have a rubber pussy you can actually fulfill your sexual desires without having to have real women in your life. This will help you maintain your sanity. Any guy who has ever had to deal with a crazy girlfriend (or even a sane girlfriend) knows just how difficult it can be. It doesn’t matter what you do, you are always in the wrong. Even when you do something right there is something wrong with it. I had a girlfriend who told me about one of her romantic dreams in detail. I made it a reality. She complained because I had to have her tell me about it in order to know it was her ideal situation.

My artificial vagina is never going to pull that crap on me. I have a Fleshlight STU and I use it all the time. It keeps me from losing my marbles and thinking that I need a woman in my life in order to be happy and sexually satisfied.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, a fake pussy can’t drop down on its knees and suck your cock. But that is why I have the robotic blow job machine (sold on It still can’t drop down to its knees, but if you blindfolded any guy and gave him fifteen minutes with it he would think he just got blown by a porn star. I can’t complain about any of the toys that I own, and since they don’t complain either everyone is happy.

All of this might sound like it is coming from some misogynistic asshole, but please don’t take it the wrong way. I just find it tough to get along with women. I am sure that someday I will find a woman with whom I am compatible. Then, we can have a tremendous relationship that isn’t full of mind games and other PMS-induced tricks. Until that day comes, however, I am going to keep myself sane by using my toys to satiate my sexual desires.

This means that I won’t run around looking to pick up every good looking woman I see, only to end up disappointed that she is just like the rest. If you know what I am talking about (or if you just want to masturbate in the best possible way) an artificial vagina is the answer.

About the author

Hi, I’m Joseph O’Connor. I am a twenty-six year old man from Texas, USA. I fell into writing about sex toys when I was looking for a way to both try new things and explore my body… Things progressed rapidly. It turns out there aren’t many (straight) men that can talk about sex the way I do without getting downright ridiculous. I’m always reading more/learning about the human body and sexual response and always looking for ways to improve my sex life (and that of those I come in contact with)

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