The Big ‘O’ explained

The orgasm is the ultimate feel good experience for the human race. As a guy, it’s why you keep diligently spanking your monkey, because the payoff is so satisfying. But even though an orgasm is the literal climax of our sexual experience, relatively little is known about the physiological mechanism that induces orgasms.

In both men and women an orgasm brings about numerous physiological and neurochemical changes in the body. The intense pleasure you get with orgasm is the result of the release of built-up neuromuscular tension known as myotonia.

It may not necessarily feel like it, but there are actually four distinct stages to an orgasm; excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Of these the shortest but most powerful is the orgasmic stage. Orgasms experienced by men and women are so similar that even so called sex experts cannot reliably distinguish between written accounts of male and female orgasms.


When you watch some porn and your cock gets rock hard, it’s known as a psychogenic response. When you start kissing your partner and you get a massive boner, it’s known as a psychogenic response. In other words, it’s psychological if you are watching porn, and physical if you are getting up close and personal. Your hard on is as a result of an increase in blood flow to the blood vessels and tissue in your cock. At the same time, your balls snuggle in closer to your body and the scrotum automatically thickens. Your muscles begin to tense up, while your heart rate, breathing rate, and blood pressure begin to increase.

Some guys even experience nipple erection and a reddening of the skin on the face, chest, and neck during the excitement phase. This is known as a sex flush and is usually more pronounced in females.

For women, the excitement stage is characterized by the onset of the pussy becoming well lubricated, clitoral erection, then the labia starts to change size and shape, the nipples become erect, and the breasts get bigger. Like guys, women also experience a build-up of muscle tension and an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and blood pressure.


In both men and women the plateau stage is associated with further increases in muscle tension, heart rate, breathing rate, and blood pressure. The glans (head) of your cock, turns a deeper red or purplish color, and a few drops of slippery fluid (often referred to as “pre-cum” or “love drops”) are likely to appear. For women, the labia becomes darker, the clitoris retracts, and the pussy becomes even wetter. You will have no doubt noticed these reactions if you are doing a good job of turning your partner on.


For guys, orgasm nearly always entails cumming. As cum collects in the urethral bulb, you get the strong feeling you are going to blow, this is known as ejaculatory inevitability and usually lasts for 2 to 3 seconds. It’s the “point of no return” – you cannot stop from having the orgasm at this point. The actual cumming involves contractions of the muscles around the base of the cock and anus known as the PC muscles. These contractions powerfully eject the cum out of your body and into the pussy if you are having sex, or into the air (and sometimes onto the ceiling) if you are not. For both men and women, the heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate all reach peak levels.

For women, orgasm is all about rhythmic contractions of the uterus and the muscles that surround the pussy. Women normally experience 3 to 10 very strong contractions that occur at 0.8-second intervals. Then there are 3 to 6 slower and weaker contractions. Some women also release a small gush of fluid, while others need direct stimulation of the clitoris to achieve orgasm. That’s why many women can reach orgasm easier and faster through masturbation than through intercourse.


You’ve probably noticed how your cock loses its erection after cumming. During this resolution stage the entire body returns to an un-aroused state. Most men experience a stage during which no type of stimulation is able to bring about another erection. The length of the refractory period can vary dramatically between men; age, mood, drug use, and stimulation type can all be factors. Women don’t have a resolution period and are therefore capable of experiencing multiple orgasms, which is why they are always ready to go again quicker than a guy.

About the author

Hi, I’m Joseph O’Connor. I am a twenty-six year old man from Texas, USA. I fell into writing about sex toys when I was looking for a way to both try new things and explore my body… Things progressed rapidly. It turns out there aren’t many (straight) men that can talk about sex the way I do without getting downright ridiculous. I’m always reading more/learning about the human body and sexual response and always looking for ways to improve my sex life (and that of those I come in contact with)

More about Joseph

Autoblow AI

Fleshlight Banner

Connect with us