Some people believe that if all was perfect in a relationship then neither partner would “need” to masturbate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Masturbation can actually aid good sex, and many couples masturbate together and love to do so.
All things considered however, it’s hardly surprising that there is still so much embarrassment about masturbation, after all, it is frequently cited as a bad habit with disastrous consequences. It is also a deeply personal sex act, unless you choose to share it with a partner. If there was no mythical status or shame about jerking off, there would be no embarrassment. It would be as common and as acceptable as sneezing.
In fact it is remarkable just how taboo the subject still is. If you want to explore how unacceptable it remains in many situations, you can try raising the topic with your friends and gauge the reaction. You could be forgiven for thinking that well educated white middle class guys in their early 20’s and 30’s, having grown up in a free and so called ‘enlightened’ society with the availability of in-depth videos and literature of a sexual nature just a few mouse clicks away, would be open to the idea of discussing or engaging in a debate about jerking off. In most circles, this is still not the case.
The subject is frequently regarded as off limits, and if you email people about their opinions, even people you know well – do necessarily not expect a reply.
Of course there are some men who choose not jerk off through choice and who never wish to discuss it, but these are mainly people who don’t indulge due to religious reasons, or because they are uncomfortable about sex, or maybe even they are confused about their own sexuality. Others may have a fairly low sex drive and do not feel the urge or the need to jerk off and again, have no desire at all to discuss the matter.
In many eastern cultures, boys are taught that jerking off greatly depletes energy and can shorten their lives in the way that cigarettes can harm health. It’s another myth, but if this is drummed into you from an early age, it’s a tough idea to er… shake off.
The only thing we can say with any certainty is that embarrassment is going to continue to surround the subject of masturbation for as long as the act of jerking off continues to be pleasurable. And that’s a long, long time.