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Wouldn’t you rather be masturbating?

The wind is blowing snow down your neck and it is -21C. Your car is in for repair and there is not a single taxi in sight in either direction on the street. The subway is a six block walk away against the bone chilling wind. You are forty-five minutes late for your most important meeting of the week because your boss was complaining about his falling stock portfolio and this client always demands punctuality for meetings. What a morning!

Wouldn’t it make you feel better if you were warm and at home, comfortably masturbating? You arrive back at the office depressed. The deal fell through because your lateness did not impress the client. You slipped on a patch of ice and ended up sitting in a fresh pile of dog shit. The cash machine was frozen shut so you have no cash. And the computer department has accidentally wiped your hard drive losing the only copy of the number of the hottest guy you have met in months. Really now, would it not be better to be at home in front of the fire, masturbating? Lunch is a disaster. The steak you ordered rare arrives well done and will not be replaced. The meat is so tough that it cracks your tooth.

The restaurant won’t fix it but the dentist will. Except the dentist won’t file a claim and has to have cash, of which you have none. Is there not something you can think of that you would rather be spending your time on? You go to pick up your car to find that the part that will make it work is on back order from the back of beyond, delivery date: unknown.

They offer a loaner but the clunker won’t start so it is back into the wind and the rapidly falling temperature. You stand on a corner trying to shiver as you watch taxis drive past full of warm passengers. Seriously now, would today not have been so very much better if you had taken a sick day and sat at home, watching a movie and masturbating?


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About the Author

About the Author

Hi, I'm Joseph O'Connor. I am a twenty-six year old man from Texas, USA. I fell into writing about sex toys when I was looking for a way to both try new things and explore my body... Things progressed rapidly. It turns out there aren't many (straight) men that can talk about sex the way I do without getting downright ridiculous. I'm always reading more/learning about the human body and sexual response and always looking for ways to improve my sex life (and that of those I come in contact with).

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