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Lust

Lust

The darker your searing cruelty

Your unrelenting evil, your delicious look,

The more I feel

A rising sensation

Of desire falling upon me

Dr.Feelgood once sang, ‘When you’re in love with a beautiful woman, it’s hard.’ And I know just what he meant. Evangelina, no doubt about it, was beautiful and I am crazy about her. I’d crawl a mile over broken glass for just a chance she might smile at me, but the smile is never with the eyes, I know the difference. But does it stop me from loving her? It does not, it just makes me want her all the more.

Maybe the cruellest thing she ever did was let me make love to her, because her harsh passion and lust consumed me and intoxicated me in a way that meant I was nothing more than the fly caught in her spider’s web, helpless until such time as she chose to devour me again. She always looks sensational, in tight fitting high split skirts, and black stockings over those long shapely legs. Her hair and her make-up, are always immaculate.

She feeds on my total worship, and I subjugate myself to her will. She likes to walk all over me, quite literally, in her stiletto shoes. It’s agony the way the spikes dig into my flesh, but if I grimace or cry out from the pain, she kicks me or whips me.

I have to kiss her feet and slowly make my way up those long legs to her pussy. She allows me to kiss those inviting pussy lips, but just as I reach maximum excitement and want to plunge myself into her, she pushes me away and deprives me. I know it’s going to happen but I always live in hope.

The frustration and deprivation drives me crazy. I do all the things besotted people do. I thought gifts would make her love me, so I showered her with them. For a few moments the thrill of the new gift will play upon her mouth and she will look happy. I bask in that happiness, but it never lasts long. Soon the gift is forgotten, put away, thrown away or given away. I found her maid wearing some costly ear rings I had bought. I thought she had stolen them and asked how she came by them. I knew she was telling me the truth. She said that Evangelina had given them to her because they had been given to her ‘by some doting fool.’

That was so like her.

I have to confess, Evanglina has played me not just like a violin, but like a Stradivarius. I should have seen it a mile off, no, ten miles off, but I am in a coma of adoration. I should have sniffed trouble the moment she actually let me make love to her properly, fully, without treading on me or kicking me or just plain rejecting me. But after the loving was over, she came out with it.

She wanted me to use my position in the bank to procure money; a lot of money, $200,000. It was true I have access to funds, and that I am in a position of great trust. I’m responsible for loading cash into the cash machines in the city branch. At first of course, I was appalled, and I refused, but you cannot refuse Evangelina for long. She can pout, she can snap, she freeze you out, she can turn her back and tell you to forget it in such a demoralising way you will lick razor blades to get her back on side.

“I thought you were a real man” she said “Obviously I was mistaken. Forget it.” When I tried to protest she said “Just forget it. You’re a weak man and that’s all there is to it. I hate you. I thought we could use it to build a life together, and disappear, but just forget it.”

I didn’t want to be viewed as a weak man in her eyes. I was flattered that she thought I was ‘a real man’ and to lose that status in her eyes pained me sorely. Also, she saw a future for us together. These thoughts played on me for days.

Of course, as you can guess, I did it. I procured $200,000 for her. Oh, she hugged me the day I handed her the cash, and we made love. I got to kiss her all over, and give her the long hard fucking I had always wanted to give her. It was worth every dollar for that alone.

But, of course, it wasn’t enough. Within ten days she wanted more, and then more, and more besides, and each time I pulled off the impossible thinking somehow, insanely it might win her love. The last two occasions I didn’t even get the gratification of the sex. She just pushed me away, can you believe it!

I have to tell you I have stolen $980,000 for her, and I can’t hide it anymore. It’s not a question now of if I will be caught, it is only a matter of when, and it won’t be long.

And so now we come to tonight. I came to her house, but the maid said she had gone away. I turned to go, but then I decided I had to check.

My heart was in my mouth, if she had gone the money had gone too, and that meant there was no more future for us. I pushed past the maid and into the living room. The light was off but I could see from the light cast by the hall that Evangelina was seated crouched forward, and one gorgeous stockinged leg was exposed. Tucked in her stocking top was a stiletto knife.

She was in the process of pulling it from her stocking, but her other hand was at an unusual angle, and I could not fathom at first what it was she was doing.

But then, with an unbearable pang of jealousy I understood, – she was pushing her hand against a man hidden in the shadows, I could just catch his outline.

She got up and came walking briskly towards me with the stiletto knife, the evil intent in her eyes told me she wanted to kill me, but the man grabbed her and held her back.

“No need Evie” he said “He’s a dead duck anyway. Let’s just go.”

“You weren’t supposed to come here” she said to me spitefully. “Get lost. I’m leaving town with someone I love. Now get out.”

“But I love you” I said.”I lust for you.” It was pathetic, but it was true.

“Oh fuck off” she spat, “I can’t stand you, you make my flesh crawl.”

“Despite what you’re saying, I’ve never seen you look lovelier than you do tonight.”

I like to think my compliment, even as she was at her most venomous, had at least a little effect, for she paused before she was helped into her coat by this new man in her life. But you understand, in a love affair such as ours, it’s really like the Hotel California; you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Which is why, when it became clear to me she was leaving me in total ruin for another man, I had no choice. I stepped forward and with one sharp movement, snapped her elegant long neck and placed her gently back on the chair.

This scared the living daylights out of her boyfriend and he couldn’t get out of the house quick enough. Now the maid is screaming hysterically, and I have just called the police.

At last I am calm and content.

I am sitting here waiting, holding my Evangelina close to me. I can still smell her perfume and best of all, as I cradle her tenderly, she’s being nice to me. She isn’t saying a single nasty word.


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