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The best artificial vagina you can buy

Are you tired of always needing to rely on a chick when you need sexual release? Or even worse, having the best sexual relationship of all time… with your very own hand? Well I’m right there with you. And thankfully, we live in a world with fake vaginas.

Some of us just need a fake pussy.

Do you love getting blowjobs and wish you could get them whenever you damn well pleased? (DUH!)

Do you ever feel like no matter how horny you are, the drama that comes along with a relationship just isn’t worth the sex?

Have you perhaps been a little down on your luck when it comes to the ladies, and despite trying, you’re just not able to get real sex as often as you’d like?

Do you or your partner travel frequently leaving you alone and horny?

Do you just REALLY enjoy watching porn and jerking off?

I repeat: Do you love getting blowjobs and want them whenever and wherever?

I can only relate to five out of six of those right now because I don’t have a girlfriend but that’s beside the point.

For those of you who CAN relate, *high-five*!!

For those of you can’t relate at all, keep reading if you like, but you might be in the wrong place. :)

And now back to those who CAN relate, I think we should take a moment and thank our lucky stars that we can BUY a beautiful fake VAGINA. Or better yet, perhaps we should just thank the creators of the Autoblow 2+ because seriously guys, it is the best fake pussy on the market - hands down!

Why do I know so much about fake pussies?

This is a question you may be asking yourself right now - like “Who is this guy, and why should I believe him when he tells me what the best piece of rubber to jerk off with is?”

If you’re asking yourself that, then fair enough. So this is me. I’m a guy who doesn’t always get lucky when I want to get lucky, and I’m a pretty (read: extremely) horny dude. While I do love my hand and wouldn’t ever want to see him go… it can get a bit repetitive and boring. Male sex toys spice things up, and give me pleasure in a way that you just can’t get with our own hand.

So, I’ve tried a ton of different things: a huge (and heavy) rubber vagina and plethora of other toys claiming to be the real deal, “the best fake vagina on the market”. And I’m here to tell you that while they all have a place in my heart, if you’re planning on just buying one, then it should be the best. And the best is the Autoblow 2+.


(For those of you that don’t want to get the best blowjobs of your life, you can skip down to the bottom where I explain what to look for in a good pocket pussy so you can make your own decision.

For those of you who DO WANT THE BEST BLOWJOB EVER, just keep reading.)

The Autoblow 2+ is the most realistic rubber vagina ever made.

The Autoblow 2

Okay, I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that when you see the Autoblow 2+ you’re going to be like “HOLY $#*! Is that a real vagina lying on the floor?” I mean the thing is encased in blue and white plastic, and looks more like a giant water bottle or heavy-duty flashlight than a pussy at first sight. Until of course you see the one end, all pretty and smooth and just sitting there ready for your cock.

Sounding good already isn’t it.

So like I said, at first glance there’s not a lot that’s realistic about a white and blue plastic tube. But isn’t there a saying that says something along the lines of… “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? Or “it’s what’s on the inside that counts?”

With the Autoblow 2+ it’s definitely all about what’s waiting for you on the inside. Plus, the beautiful entrance way doesn’t hurt. You can choose whether you want the hole where you stick your dick to look like a pair of nice, feminine lips (I’m talking on the mouth) or a realistic looking but of course fake pussy. The choice is yours. I also think I saw that they were going to be introducing an ass option as well which of course, I’ll be getting if these rumours run true.

I also got the REAL DOLL inserts that they came out with recently. They are SO CRAZY REALISTIC! The original Autoblow sleeves are all one color - beige. But with the real doll, the lips (pussy or mouth) are beautiful colors of pink/red and really make a difference in how realistic it looks. They’re pretty impressive! Although they don’t fit in the Autoblow perfectly - so it’s slightly more work taking them in and out, but not enough that it actually bothers me. They’re totally worth a little extra effort for how hot they are.

And then once you’ve got your cock inside, let me tell you - be ready for it, because the first time I turned mine on, I came almost immediately. Well okay not THAT fast, it was at least 30 seconds, but it really did take me by surprise how quickly I finished. Kind of funny actually, because I was all excited to give it a try. I found an awesome porn movie, got myself comfortable, turned it on and bam. The experience was over. Short but SERIOUSLY AMAZING. Anyways, I just waited a bit, watched my ‘movie’ and gave it another shot. Pretty much heaven.

So why do I consider it the closest thing to heaven I’ve experienced so far?

Out of all the fake vaginas I’ve ever used, this one has a feeling like none I’ve ever experienced.

Why?

It’s AUTOMATIC. :) Yup. That means that I literally just have to push a button, adjust the speed to my comfort, and sit back and enjoy the ride. Not having to actually make the motion yourself makes the whole experience so much more life-like - as if you have a real live chick down there sucking you off, or letting you stuff her. And, it means that you have both of your hands free.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Blowjobs while I play video games. Sex while I watch movies. Blowjobs while I eat my dinner. Hell, sex while I do my taxes!

And there are no batteries, so you don’t have to worry about running out of juice. You can plug this amazing artificial vagina miracle right into the wall and have your way with it as many times as you want! (and you’ll never hear her complain).

The size is another thing that sets the Autoblow 2+ apart from other toys. It really helps that you get to choose the size of your sleeve so you can make sure that you have the perfect fit. It’s not a small, discreet pocket pussy that you could keep in your briefcase - but the larger size of the case ensures that most guys will have no problem fitting their cock in there - just change the size of the sleeve to fit snug as a smooth, wet, delicious, heavenly glove.

But you can also adjust the sleeves to try out different holes and feelings - so it’s not JUST about size. You can totally customize these things so that you get exactly the pussy that you want to serve all of your wildest desires.


Cleanliness is a key factor me when I buy my sex toys.

Let’s face it. If the fake pussy does its job, it’s going to get messy. So it’s really important to me that I can clean it easily. You don’t want your fun juice drying up in hard-to-reach places, stinking up your closet when you leave it sitting. (puke).

Because the sleeves are interchangeable, it means they easily come out when it’s time to clean up your victory mess too. (*high-five*) Just use warm soapy water if that’s what you have on hand, but I prefer to use toy cleaner. It protects the soft delicate material and helps it last longer. The silkiness of the sleeves is what makes it feel so realistic, and so I don’t take any chances that might compromise that.

The best way to use the Autoblow 2+ - the best fake vagina on the market.

Blowjob Machine

I think I’ve given you all the important specs, so it’s time to get into the really good part - how to actually USE this wonderful piece of sexual equipment…

First off, it’s important that you have a high quality water-based lubricant on hand. Insertion (and the overall general feel) is just honestly going to feel SO much better if you’re lubed up. You don’t need much, as the skin is so smooth and silky already, but you do need some.

So, if you’ve got multiple sleeves, you’re obviously going to have to choose your playmate for the day, and get nice and comfortable in a position where you can plug in your Autoblow. Rub a small bit of lube on the end of your penis, and then insert. The first time you use it you’re going to want to play around the speeds - start SLOW and then take it up gradually or you’ll blow you load in a few seconds (like I did).

What’s happening, is that inside the case, between the plastic and the sleeve, there are these rings of beads that go up and down and what feels like all over the place. The feeling that it gives is so similar to that of real sex or a blow job, but oftentimes better. Ever have a one night stand and the sex is just awful? Yeah, that doesn’t happen with this.

The motor is pretty intense, and the manufacturers guarantee that it’s ‘industrial strength’. I don’t really know how to tell if that’s true, but it’s definitely strong and mine is still in great working condition even after using it, let’s just say… alot!

For me, I don’t normally need the highest speeds. I like to keep it low, and play around medium. Maybe shift it up right at the end if I’m feeling frisky. There is always a time and a place for a good quickie, but I prefer to just settle in and try to keep myself on the edge as long as possible. If you haven’t tried that, you MUST!

And if you tried it with a real vagina (er, I mean woman) you might get a complaint that they’re tired, or you’re taking too long, etc. etc. With the Autoblow you really get to go at the exact pace that you want. It’s all about you :)

And trust me; it’s going to be a night that you will remember.

Don’t believe me?

How to choose the best artificial vagina (if you don’t believe me that the Autoblow 2+ is the best)

Okay, so - you don’t believe me that the Autoblow 2+ is the best fake pussy on the market? Or, you just want to go do your own research? No problem. I’m not offended.

If you want to go out there and start the search on your own for the best pocket pussy, then at least take my advice, and compare each toy using the following guidelines:

1. Hands-free?

This is a question you have to ask yourself. There are many strokers out there that feel great, but you’re still doing all the work. How important is it to you that you get to just sit back and relax while the machine does all the work? Take the Fleshlight for example. I’ve got one (of course) and it’s not so much that I don’t like the actual physical aspect of moving my hand back and forth, (I’m not that lazy) but if I was having sex with a real woman I wouldn’t be doing that, would I? For me, the fact that I don’t have to do anything but plug it in and turn it on - then let my imagination create the scene of whoever I might be with - that just adds to the realism and really turns me on.

2. Power source.

If you do decide that you want a hands-free option, you’re going to want to make sure that it doesn’t drain batteries so fast that you either end up in debt from purchasing too many batteries, or more likely - throwing the pocket pussy in the trash. I’ve had toys in the past that take upwards of 4 batteries at a time, and can’t last more than 15 minutes on each set. Talk about throwing money in the trash. So if you do want your rubber vagina to be hands-free, read reviews, ask about specs, and do your research to make sure you get one that works well.<

3. Size.

In this case, guys - size definitely matters! There are some fake pussies out there that are only 2 inches wide, and 4 inches long. So pay attention. If you’ve got a very large dick, these aren’t going to feel too good. For us more average Joes, these will fit, and they’re great to keep for travelling, but watch that they either have a hole on either end (so you can poke out the other side) or that you’re shorter than the 4 inches. But if you’re going to spending a lot of time with your fake vagina, then I recommend that you invest in something a little sturdier.

4. Options.

Even the best fake pussy needs to come with a few options to keep things interesting. Unless it’s 30 bucks (which I’ll tell you something right now - you usually get what you pay for) but if it’s a cheap toy, then screw it. It’s probably worth something if you’re just looking to try something new. But if you’re going to invest 80, 100 bucks or more? Make sure that you can buy different sleeves, entrance holes, etc. Men are known for cheating for a reason - we like to spice things up, right? You’ll want to on your fake pussy too.

5. Cleaning.

I already mentioned this earlier. This is VERY important. You should check the material that it’s made with as well. A lot of the really cheap rubber toys are literally impossible to clean and are a breeding ground for bacteria which leads to nasty smells and a disgusting experience overall. Get something that has a removable sleeve for the easiest cleaning, or even those strokers that are open on both sides. That definitely helps.

6. Quality.

I just said it - you get what you pay for.

If you want a rubber vagina that’s going to feel like a REAL vagina, you’ve got to put your money where your dick is. I’m not kidding. There are so many knock-offs and cheap toys out there that feel like sticky rubber covered in lube. Some are too big. Some don’t even fit. Some fall apart after three weeks. If you want not just a fake pussy, but a sexual companion that you can always count off to get you off no matter what - invest in that. At least a little bit.

7. Price.

Please read quality. Put your money where your dick is. Nothing great in life is $20. And honestly, I think the Autoblow is $160 still. That’s way less than you’d spend on taking a girl out to a nice restaurant, buying drinks, etc - all in the HOPES that she MIGHT sleep with you. This, on the other hand, is a sure thing. Talk about a solid investment...

8. Visual appeal.

Does your pocket pussy look like a pile of rubber? Or a rubber vagina? For me, it’s important that it looks like the real thing. Some of the ones I’ve seen out there are downright frightening, and I wouldn’t let my dick touch ‘em with a ten foot pole. So, you know, there’s that to think about.

9. Ease of use.

For me, if I’m going to be buying a hands-free pocket pussy, I don’t want to have to get into some complicated procedure every time I use it. I want to be able to turn it on, hit a button, and then have fun. If I want to change the speed mid-session? Easy. It’s terrible when you have to stop the entire process just to switch speeds - and trust me, it happens on some of those crap fake pussies out there.

10. DOES IT FEEL GOOD?

Obviously, this is very important. And from someone who has tried countless fake vaginas over the years, I stand by my statement that the Autoblow 2+ feels the best, no contest!

But of course.. You go do your thing and try them all out for yourself.

One last thing before you go.

If you DO decide to buy the Autoblow 2+ I highly recommend that you purchase the accessories that go with it. I’m talking about the ergonomic handle, and the zip-up case. I told you before; it’s not a tiny discreet pocket pussy, so they sell a handle that really does make everything run just a little bit smoother. They also have a case that keeps it all nicely protected so it doesn’t get dirty. I guess it also keeps it out of sight from prying eyes.

Personally, I think they should just include the handle and the case in the original box, but I guess they’re hoping for a bit of extra money from that sale. I guess that would really be my one complaint about the product, is having to buy those two accessories separately.

Anyway, I honestly hope that this ramble about sex toys helps you in choosing the best fake pussy for you. Whether you take my advice with the Autoblow, or go out and try them all for yourself - I know you’re going to have a great time doing it.

The Best Artificial Vaginas

Whatever the market category, be it televisions, PCs, Play stations or iPod’s there is an elite handful of market leaders. Everyone knows BMW, Nike, Apple, Samsung, and Sony.

In the world of artificial vagina it’s no different. One or two market leaders dominate. And there are many guys who will only settle for the best. Whether it is golf clubs, power drills or artificial vaginas, they have to have the official market leader.

Fleshlight

Original Pink Lady Fleshlight

The best selling male sex toy is called the Fleshlight. This toy for men looks more like a flashlight than a sex toy until you open it up. Once you do, an artificial vagina love sleeve sits temptingly before you. When you warm it up, lube it up and penetrate it, it gives a quality of performance akin to BMW for cars, Nike for sneakers and Apple for iPods. It’s right up there with the best. And get this, unlike these big multinational players who have massive installations the world over, the company behind Fleshlight is run with less than 50 staff. The line up of Fleshlight toys keep expanding continuously because they know guys love a constant supply of fresh artificial vagina. That’s why the Fleshlight Girls series has proved so popular and why the Fleshlight range is continuously named in independent tests as the world’s best toys for men. The Fleshlight Girls feature some of the hottest names in porn. Fleshlight also caters to more unconventional tastes such as the Dracula blowjob Fleshlight for Goths, and the stamina training units to help guys learn to last longer in bed.

Tenga Flip Hole

Tenga Flip Hole

The other company that continually receives high praise for its toys for men is the Japanese company Tenga. This is the Lexus to the Fleshlight’s Cadillac. Another highly innovative company, they too market a range of high quality toys for men that use a cunning disguise. In this case it is toys for men that look like innocent deodorizers or moisturizer cans, but in truth they are superbly made artificial vaginas.

One of their top artificial vagina toys for me is the Tenga Flip Hole, a re-washable male masturbator with an incredible inner sleeve composed of nubs, suction chambers and a tight tunnel. It is said to be every bit as effective as the Fleshlight and inducing mind blowing orgasms, but unlike the Fleshlight, the Japanese don’t like their artificial vagina to look like pussy. Time will tell if these two companies can stay at the forefront of the toys for men market, or whether an exciting new frontrunner will emerge – my money is on Mangasm, a relatively new sex toy company that introduced series of anal sex toys for men, and are now about to launch their own range of awesome artificial vagina toys onto the market



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About The Author

About the Author

Hi, I'm Joseph O'Connor. I am a twenty-six year old man from Texas, USA. I fell into writing about sex toys when I was looking for a way to both try new things and explore my body... Things progressed rapidly. It turns out there aren't many (straight) men that can talk about sex the way I do without getting downright ridiculous. I'm always reading more/learning about the human body and sexual response and always looking for ways to improve my sex life (and that of those I come in contact with). Please note that some posts contain affiliate links. This means that if you click on one, and later purchase the product, we will earn a small commission on that sale. Please see our disclosures for more details.

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About the Author

About the Author

Hi, I'm Joseph O'Connor. I am a twenty-six year old man from Texas, USA. I fell into writing about sex toys when I was looking for a way to both try new things and explore my body... Things progressed rapidly. It turns out there aren't many (straight) men that can talk about sex the way I do without getting downright ridiculous. I'm always reading more/learning about the human body and sexual response and always looking for ways to improve my sex life (and that of those I come in contact with).

More About Joseph

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