blowjobThere are many reasons why some women refuse to or don’t like to perform oral sex on their male partners. Some have religious beliefs that lead them to think that oral sex is morally wrong. They may be somewhat inhibited and just think of the genitalia as dirty, nasty, or disgusting. They may have also had negative experiences in the past with a man or men in which they felt humiliated or criticized for not doing a “good enough” job. Finally, they have been coerced into doing it before.

How to persuade her to give you oral pleasure

1. You will need to talk with her about your desire to have her oral sex on you sometime before the sexual encounter. Let her know how much you enjoy it receiving oral pleasure and to explore why she may be hesitant to try and pleasure you in this way. You will need to be sensitive to whatever her concerns are. It may be a while before she agrees to try it. If so, you will have to be patient. Verbal or physical coercion is not an option.

2. Once she agrees, tell her what you would like and would not like for her to do in terms of technique. Don’t assume that she would know for example, that you don’t like to feel teeth on your penis or that you do enjoy teeth while getting a blow job.

3. Ask her specifically what she is comfortable with, i.e. swallowing semen, or allowing ejaculating on any part of her body. Remember, you will need to focus on making her feel comfortable. This first time may not be the best blow job she will ever give you, but you can work on that.

4. Be sure to let her know that you want her to be comfortable and that you will follow her lead.

5. Take a shower so that you are fresh and she feels more comfortable with your scent and taste. Invite her to join you. If she does, you can offer to wash her all over and give her the opportunity to do the same. Also, a nice hot shower will help both of you to feel more relaxed.

6. She will probably feel more comfortable if you are lying down on a bed instead of standing up or sitting up with her kneeling on the floor. This will give her move control over how much of your penis she will take in at once and the rate of thrusting.

7. Talk to her and give her encouragement while she is performing the act. Let her know that she is giving you pleasure.

8. If she does something that doesn’t feel good ask her to do something else, such as repeat something she has already done that you found pleasurable.

9. Let her know in advance that you are about to reach orgasm so that she can move her mouth away if she doesn’t want to taste any of your juice.

10. Express your appreciation and don’t immediately ask her if to orally pleasure you again. Also, don’t assume that she will do it again in the future without you having to ask.

11. Sometimes men want to receive oral sex but not necessarily give it. Be willing to reciprocate by giving her oral pleasure if she wants it immediately afterwards and at a later time.

12. Stay encouraged. Once she realizes the pleasure she is giving you and your willingness to accommodate her concerns and honor her comfort level, she may start giving you blow jobs on a regular basis-without you having to ask!

13. Spice things up by using a blowjob machine.

A good source for more information about ways to talk with her about giving you oral pleasure can be found at Columbia University’s Student Health Department website.

In case you are interested in making sure your ejaculatory fluid doesn’t taste bitter and maybe even will taste sweet, explore the article Foods that Influence the Taste of Semen at http://kinseyconfidential.org/taste-bodily-fluids/

Why some women don’t enjoy giving oral sex
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